But Dust, His Dust
"Even to your old age, I am he; and even to hoar hairs will I carry you: I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you." Isa. 46:4
Dear elderly, troubled saint,
As you write the later chapters of your life, and as your body and mind begin to fail, it is only natural to ponder the deeper things— past, sin, eternity, God's grace and judgment, and the state of your never-dying soul. And in these reflections, you may find times when your heart becomes heavy with uncertainties, fogged by questions you cannot answer. Rest assured, you are not alone. These are the troublers that trouble many a Dove in the clefts of the Rock.
But please remember that God's love for you is not based on your ability to feel or understand everything perfectly or to live without sin. His love is a gift freely given, paid in full by Christ Jesus, who took upon Himself all our sins, yes, even our doubt-sins and fear-sins, when He died on the Cross. Dear one, you are cherished by Christ not because of what you have done, or who you are, or who you failed to become, but because of what Christ has done for you. He has broken your heart many a time for sin, and you have fled to Him many a time for sin-pardoning refuge.
As you look back on your life and its puzzles, you might find comfort in the words of the Apostle Paul from Romans 8:38-39:
"For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Dear one, God's grace does not run aground on the shallows of our lives, only to flourish in the calm of open water. His grace doesn't come and go based on our actions or our feelings. His felt presence might, at times, seem gone, but His grace is constant. It’s a spiritual constant, like gravity. His grace for needy sinners is like the ever-flowing stream, like the sun that rises faithfully each morning. You can rest in that grace, knowing that it won't be pulled out from under you when you are prone to halt and stumble.
If fear and doubt break up your peace, read and meditate on the promises of God. They are sure, dear one. Sure!1 They are sure when you feel them, but especially when you don't. They are sure because they are promises sealed by the blood of the Everlasting Covenant, Who bore our sins and carried our sorrows (including weaknesses of heart and mind) to give us an unwavering hope of life to come.
God knows your frailties, your doubts, and your fears, and yet He calls you His own. He promises to carry you, to uphold you, even when your strength fails you.
"Even to your old age, I am He; and even to hoar hairs will I carry you: I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you" (Isaiah 46:4).
The God who has been your guide for all these years has not abandoned you now. Our failing bodies are daily Post-It-Notes from the Father, to walk closer with His Son today, than we did yesterday. Because the day of His final appearance is fast approaching, be it on the clouds of glory or on our deathbed.
Your spiritual state is not precarious, dear one, but secure in the Hands of the One who declares that He loses none of those whom the Father has given Him. (John 10)
Rest now, precious soul, in the cleft of the Rock that is higher than you, in the knowledge that, though we are but dust, we are His dust, crafted by His hands, redeemed by His blood, and secure in His love.
2 Cor. 1:20; Num 23:19; Heb. 6:17,18; Isaiah 55:11; Titus 1:2; Romans 4:21; Josh.21:45; Philip. 1:6; 1 Thess. 5:24.