Show Me to Me
“And thus are the secrets of his heart made manifest" (1 Corinthians 14:25).
To whom, exactly, are these secrets made manifest? To God? Hardly. He’s all-knowing. To others? There’s no mention of other people in the text. Then these secrets must be made manifest to himself.
The believer knows that nothing hides a secret better than his own heart. Perhaps we know more about our family and friends than we do ourselves, because we passively study them. We’re often a complete mystery to ourselves. I’m not surprised to learn “that the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked, who can know it?” (Jer. 17:9,10). Our heart keeps secrets that self can’t see. It
sounds strange, but that’s the power of self deception.
But when something approaching a true sight of self appears,
the ice of pride begins to shock, then thaw,
and like waking from a sleep,
we see what was once always there but hidden,
manifested to us by the light of God’s Spirit by His Word. It’s not a mystery why the old man hates to read it.
Believe me, there is no surprise like the surprise of self.
It’s the Spirit’s good pleasure to reveal me to me, then Christ to me. Or is it the other way around? Either way, where the book of my heart, locked up and double-guarded by pride, is read aloud by the Spirit in His Word. His sanctifying work is a painful work. Justification removes guilt. Sanctification removes corruption. It is a light that pans the walls of my dark room. When He shines upon me through the means of grace, the features of my portrait become visible.
In that light,
I see some beauty, some ugliness.
Some joy, some pain.
Some spotlessness, some filth.
It’s a painfully pleasant process, this self-discovery. Because when the Spirit shines in our hearts, we can see ourselves more clearly than before, and apply to sovereign grace anew. Cleans me, wash me. I cry for the thousandth time, “God be merciful to me a sinner.” And He hears me. I am restored to the Father’s unceasing love.
So then, the secrets of the heart are not made manifest to the Spirit, but by the Spirit... to me. Paul says, “For I know nothing by myself” (1 Cor. 6).
I say, amen, Paul, amen.